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1. Purpose and goals of the policy.

2. Remote and proximate stages of marriage preparation.

3. Marriage Preparation Process.

• Initial Meeting with Priest or Deacon

• Education Steps

1. Completion of the Premarital Inventory Assessment

2. Education in Natural Family Planning

3. Participation in a Sponsor Couple Program
   0. and/or
4. Participation in a Premarital Retreat or Workshop

• Final Meeting with Priest or Deacon

• Non-practice of the Catholic faith by a Catholic party or parties with no intention of returning to the practice of the faith.

• Lack of readiness and maturity for marriage.

• Refusal of the parties to participate in the marriage preparation process.

• Substantial lack of appreciation for the spiritual and sacramental aspects of marriage.

1. Premarital Inventory. The FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding, and Study) Premarital inventory is the preferred inventory tool within the Diocese of Biloxi. The FOCCUS inventory is a tool to help the engaged couple explore with each other and the marriage minister all aspects of the future marital relationship; the assessment is designed to highlight potential strengths and weaknesses within a couple’s relationship and lead to further dialog with and between the couple. The FOCCUS has a solid research background, published studies indicating strong reliability and validity, and has been in use for over 30 years. All engaged couples are required to complete the FOCCUS assessment and the results will form the basis for subsequent marriage preparation discussion with either the priest, deacon, or the sponsor couple. If someone other than the priest (e.g., deacon) is responsible for discussing the FOCCUS inventory results with the engaged couple, a summary of the discussion is to be shared with the priest. Program Information: FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding, and Study), Family Life Office, 3214 N. 60th St., Omaha, NE 68104, (402) 551-9003

2. Natural Family Planning (NFP). The Diocese of Biloxi requires all engaged couples to attend a Natural Family Planning class as part of their overall marriage preparation formation program. Typically this will include several sessions covering why the Church teaches NFP, basic biology of the body and how NFP works. Couples who attend the Engaged Encounter Weekends may receive additional information on NFP. Clerics will ensure that the names of engaged couples are provided to the Diocese of Biloxi Marriage and Family Life ministry office so the couple can be contacted by a certified Natural Family Planning trainer.

3. Sponsor Couple and Sponsor Couple Programs. The term “sponsor couple” refers to any one-on-one relationship where a trained, married couple works with one engaged couple. The Diocese of Biloxi supports the use of parish-based sponsor couples in the marriage preparation process. The use of sponsor couples has the added benefit of linking engaged couples more closely to the parish through sponsor couples while strengthening the marriage of the sponsors. This causes a ripple of marriage enrichment in the whole parish. A Sponsor Couple Program is a proven and effective “peer-to-peer” method used to assist engaged couples prepare for marriage. Peer-to-peer refers to an engaged couple interacting with a married couple. The engaged couple meets with the married couple 6 to 8 times over a period of several weeks. There are reading assignments and questions to answer before each session. The meetings typically consist of discussion and dialogue based on the readings. The engaged couple participates in conversations they may not have already had including: families of origin, marital communication, marital spirituality, family planning, sexuality and intimacy, and problem solving. Training of sponsor couples is the responsibility of the local parish. Only fully-trained sponsor couples are to be used in marriage preparation. The following are preferred Sponsor Couple Programs for the Diocese of Biloxi:

• For Better & For Ever, A Resource for Couples Preparing for Christian Marriage (7). In using For Better & For Ever, sponsor couples are trained to meet the engaged “where they are” as the starting point for dialogue about the vocation of Matrimony. The Sponsor Couple hosts a series of meetings with the engaged couple in their own home, then after the wedding they follow up with the newly married couple through the first year(s) of marriage. For Better & For Ever is available in English, Spanish, Vietnamese, and French.

• Better Together. Better Together is a video-based sponsor couple program consisting of 12 sessions. Each session uses 4 or 5 short (3 to 6 minute) videos to lead the conversation which is guided by the sponsor couple. The engaged couple uses a workbook that has 2 short pages of reading for each video short with a place to take notes. In addition the Leader’s Guide has helpful tips to bring up when discussing each video.

• Beloved, Finding Happiness in Marriage.

• Unveiled: Marriage Prep Anytime, Anywhere. The preferred online/ DVD Sponsor Couple Program for the Diocese of Biloxi when an engaged couple is separated by distance is Unveiled: Marriage Prep Anytime, Anywhere. This program is primarily to be used as a marriage preparation option when marriage preparation is required while the engaged couple is separated by distance. Long distance preparation, though not ideal, is sometimes necessary due to military service or other factors. Couples may reside in separate cities or at a distance from the place where they will be married 
• Military or college chaplains can often provide independent preparation but the presiding minister needs to coordinate the process. Premarital inventories can be done independently, then discussed when the couple is together or via phone, letters, or
  e-mail. Separation is a challenge but not a reason to omit marriage preparation programs.

4. Premarital Retreat or Workshop. The Diocese of Biloxi encourages engaged couples to attend a Premarital retreat or Workshop as part of their overall marriage preparation formation program. As of the date of this policy, this Diocese does not have its own retreat program. Initially couples are to use the Engaged Encounter Weekends at the three surrounding Dioceses (New Orleans, Mobile and Jackson) for couples after they have completed the Sponsor Couple program or its equivalent.

4.Wedding Liturgy Policy 

1. Wedding Rehearsal. The wedding rehearsal should take place in a prayerful context. It is desirable for the principal celebrant to be present at the wedding rehearsal. Also, the Church calls engaged Catholics to the sacramental nourishment of Reconciliation and Holy Eucharist as a fitting preparation for holy Matrimony.

2. The Wedding Liturgy. Marriage should normally be celebrated within Mass. However, the pastor should decide whether it would be preferable to propose that marriage be celebrated within or outside of Mass given both the necessities of pastoral care and the way in which the prospective spouses and those present participate in the Life of the Church. The Order of Celebrating Matrimony (9) contains the rites to be used in the celebration of marriage. It is standard for Catholic-Catholic weddings to use the Rite of Christian Marriage within a Mass and for ecumenical weddings to use the Rite of Christian Marriage Outside a Mass. Chapter 1 of The Order of Celebrating Matrimony contains information on celebrating the Sacrament of Matrimony.

3. Place of marriage. Marriage is to be celebrated in the parish church where either party has domicile, quasi-domicile, or month-long residence. It may be celebrated within another church or oratory with the written permission of the pastor, or in another place with the permission of the local ordinary (1 - c. 1115, 1118). A minister of another Christian community may ask for and receive the vows or be present at the Catholic church. In the latter case, only the Catholic minister receives the vows in the name of the Church.

5. Special Circumstances.

1. Readiness issues (age, pregnancy, mental illnesses, immaturity,

1. Age. The Code of Canon Law establishes that a man below the age of 17 and a woman below the age of 15 cannot enter marriage (1 - c. 1083 §1). The Diocese of Biloxi requires written parental consent for anyone under the age of 18 seeking to enter into marriage. (Mississippi statutes set the minimum age at 21, but allow males aged 17 and females aged 15 to marry with parental permission.) It is highly recommended that parents of minors seeking marriage be included in the discernment process. Maturity varies with the individual and many couples past their teens are not ready to take on the commitment and responsibilities of marriage and would benefit from similar extra attention. In addition to professional assessment, discussion facilitated by a premarital inventory can help such couples to recognize their need for more time.

2. Pregnancy. Pregnancy is always treated as a caution to marriage as opposed to a reason to speed up a wedding, since it may interfere with a person’s free consent. If the couple only started to discuss marriage following the pregnancy, then the issue of undue pressure to marry needs to be explored. On the positive side, in light of our Church’s consistent witness to the sanctity of human life, the couple’s choice to embrace the pregnancy should be affirmed by the pastoral minister.

Ecumenical (or Interchurch): Marriage between a Catholic and a non-Catholic baptized Christian. If suitable, and at the request of both the officiant of the wedding and the pastor of the place of the wedding, permission may be granted for the wedding to be celebrated within the context of Mass. Priest celebrants see faculties. An Eastern Orthodox member is also a non-Catholic party and the same requirements pertain to them as to other non-Catholic baptized Christians.

2. Interfaith: Marriage between a Catholic and a non-Christian. When a Catholic marries someone who is not baptized, or a person with an invalid baptism (some invalid baptisms would be Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints [Mormons], Christian Scientists, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Masons [no baptism at all], Pentecostal, Quakers, Salvation Army, Unitarians), this presents a situation in which careful pastoral guidance is to be provided. So that the faith of the Catholic party may be safeguarded, the Church provides much pastoral guidance. See: CCC 1633-1637 (2); 1 – c. 1128,

3. Interreligious: More generic term that includes ecumenical, interfaith, and marriage with someone of no religious belief. In marriages not involving a Catholic party, the Church presumes to be valid those that are duly celebrated and entered into by parties who are free to marry (and otherwise qualified) and recognizes as a sacrament those marriages entered into between the baptized.

4. Pastoral Approach. The confusion over terms is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to interreligious marriages, with over 15 different combinations of Catholic and “other.” Despite the complexity of combinations, canon law and liturgical rites are specific about what dispensations and rites are needed. Couples  are also urged to learn about their future spouse’s faith; not for the purpose of conversion but for understanding and family harmony.

5. The Promise of Raising Children in the Faith. Historically, perhaps the most misunderstood aspect of interreligious marriage has been the promise that Catholic partners must make to raise their children in the Catholic faith (1 - c. 1125). The promise is made in the following or similar words:

3. Previous marriage (divorce, annulments, death, convalidation, children from a previous marriage)

1. Pastoral approach. The complexities of interreligious marriage are probably surpassed only by those of couples who seek to marry after a divorce. Yet one of the first steps in marriage preparation, after hospitality, is to determine the couple’s freedom to marry so that the process can continue.

2. Divorce and annulment. For pastoral and practical reasons, no wedding date, even a tentative one, should be set for couples if one or both parties is still going through the annulment process. In order to discourage marrying on the rebound or without having understood how the partner contributed to the difficulties of the previous marriage, it is recommended that a significant period of time be taken to work through these issues. Couples who are free to marry in the Church need to obtain the necessary documentation stating their freedom to marry and follow the marriage preparation process described herein, making use of a premarital inventory that addresses remarriage issues as a modification is recommended (ReFOCCUS). In the case of marriages, where a previous annulment was granted, the priest or deacon is to check with the Diocesan office to determine if there is a vetitum (prohibition) or monitum (caution) attached to an annulment which might require further counseling prior to entering into marriage in the Church. ( Vetitum is a prohibition placed by the Tribunal; however, it is not an invalidating prohibition -- and if ignored the marriage would be considered valid although the officiant’s involvement was illicit.)

3. Death. Historically, priests often accepted abbreviated preparation for couples who had happy marriages and were marrying after the death of a spouse. However, this is no longer the case, although the form of marriage preparation should be adapted to the age and circumstances of the couple. Sponsor Couples can help the engaged discern where they are in the grief process and how they will deal with issues such as merged finances and obligations to children from the previous marriage.

4. Convalidation. Convalidation (sometimes referred to as validation or, less accurately, as “blessing” a marriage) can be performed in instances in which a couple who was civilly married acknowledges that they are not in a valid marriage and seeks to regularize their union within the Church. A convalidation is not simply a renewal of the previous intention to marry but the creation of a valid marriage in the sight of the Christian community. A convalidation is permitted after the couple has completed adequate preparation and premarital counseling. ReFOCCUS and For Better and Forever (7) are helpful tools for preparing these couples for marriage. Regarding the six-month preparation requirement, the priest or deacon preparing the couple may adjust this regulation appropriately if the couple has been married for a number of years. 

5. Children from a previous marriage. Children from a previous marriage do not become illegitimate after an annulment, it is important to reaffirm this with the person seeking an annulment lest this fear be an obstacle to the person (1 - c. 1137). A primary concern is that the parent recognize his or her responsibility to support children from a previous relationship both financially and emotionally. Becoming an instant stepparent, whether custodial or non-custodial, also strains a new marriage; thus specialized marriage preparation is especially important.

4. Moral issues. (cohabitation, choosing not to have children, abortion)

1. Cohabitation. If, either from public knowledge or by frank admission of the couple, a priest or deacon knows that the couple is living together before their upcoming marriage, he is to approach the marriage preparation process with cautious pastoral care. In teaching the couple about matrimony and Christian teachings on the meaning of sexual intimacy, the cleric should exhort them to live separately and refrain from sexual activity until after their marriage.

• Approach the couple with sensitivity and welcome.

• Explore with them the reason that they are now approaching the Church for marriage (as with pregnancy, the risk of divorce is lessened if the decision to marry was made prior to the cohabitation). Help the couple to understand the wisdom behind the Church’s teaching on sexual intimacy within the sacrament of marriage.

• Encourage the couple to live separately and chastely before their marriage as a spiritual preparation for marriage (exceptions are made for those with children).  

• For Better and Forever (7) suggests a Premarital covenant for engaged couples which includes a paragraph stating, “We agree that abstaining from sexual intercourse during this time of our engagement is the best way to prepare for making sexual intercourse in our marriage a very special sign of our marital commitment. With this in mind, we agree that we will abstain from words or actions with one another that will place us in danger of breaking this Premarital covenant (Betrothal Agreement).

2. Choosing not to have children. The sacrament of marriage, by its nature, is ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of children. (2 - CCC 1601) A decision by the couple or one party to permanently exclude children invalidates a marriage.

3. Abortion. Having had an abortion requires special pastoral care;
   is recommended.Rachel’s Vineyard Ministries referral to

1. Unwillingness to participate in a program. Unwillingness to participate in a marriage preparation program as a sign of lack of commitment to marry in the Church. As mentioned in paragraph 3.a. of this policy, unwillingness to participate in a marriage preparation program constitutes just cause for postponing a marriage before the Catholic Church.

2. Non-registered Catholic. Canon law does not make parish registration a prerequisite for marriage in the Catholic Church (1 - c. 1115). Each situation has to be handled separately and delicately. The presumption of the Church is that people have a natural right to marry. The Church, therefore, is to provide a welcoming presence regardless of whether or not the couple are registered parishioners. See paragraph 4.c. for additional guidance.

3. Persons with disabilities. “Realizing the unique gifts handicapped individuals have to offer the Church, we wish to address their need for their fuller integration into the Christian community and their fuller participation in its life” (Pastoral Statement of U.S. Catholic Bishops on Persons with Disabilities [14]). Disabilities may be physical or mental. As with questions of readiness, the priest should utilize the counsel of professionals knowledgeable about the particular disability. Except for antecedent and perpetual impotency, physical disability is not an impediment to marriage. Catholics who are deaf should be offered the opportunity to express their matrimonial consent in sign language. With mental disabilities the priest needs to assess the couple’s ability to give consent and to assume the essential obligations of marriage. See
   Guidelines for the Celebration of the Sacraments with Persons with Disabilities (15).

4. Infertility and impotence. While infertility is not an impediment to marriage, it should be discussed with openness and candor if known in advance. Impotence, permanent inability to have
   intercourse, nullifies marriage but where there is doubt, marriage must not be impeded (1 - c. 1084). Continuing medical advances make permanent impotence difficult to confirm and increase the possibility of the impotence being temporary. See Vatican document from Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith on Impotency dated May 13, 1977 or later.

5. Citizenship status. Situations that may affect a couple’s ability to contract a marriage include: (1) marrying in order to remain in the U.S. or to gain citizenship, which impacts consent, and (2) undocumented couple who freely want to marry. In these cases, the priest is to consult with the Diocesan Chancery or Tribunal for legal clarification. Marriages in order to remain in the U.S. are contrary to both civil law and canon law. Civil law and canon law would see such actions as fraud and any cleric knowingly performing such weddings are subject to the law.

6. Prenuptial Agreements. Marriage is based on an enduring committed love and partnership of the whole of life which implies a comprehensive sharing of both spiritual and temporal goods. A prenuptial agreement is not automatically a cause of invalid marital consent but an evaluation of the agreement is necessary to determine if there are any conditions limiting consent. Many couples consider forming a legal agreement concerning their temporal goods before they contract marriage. Some couples entering marriage after the death of a previous spouse consider such agreement to direct their assets to their proper heirs. If, however, such an agreement is formed in such a way that indicates the couple is not taking seriously the goods of marriage, namely fidelity and permanence, then the couple needs to be advised to reject their prenuptial agreement.

7. Sexual Identity. For a sacramental marriage the presumption is that “a man and a woman” asking to marry are so by nature and understand themselves as a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman. When either person expresses doubt or conflict about sexual identity or sexual orientation, careful attention must be given to both parties. If the couple has not dealt with this topic, further assistance by a counseling professional is required. See CCC 2333, 2393.

6. Enrichment After Marriage

• Pope St. John Paul II exhorted pastoral ministers to help the couple “to discover and live their new vocation”. This holds true especially for young families, which, finding themselves in a context of new values and responsibilities, are more vulnerable, especially in the first years of marriage. (Familiaris Consortio [6]).

• Pope St. Paul VI encouraged ministers of marriage to “work ardently and incessantly for the safeguarding and the holiness of marriage, that it always be lived in its entire human and Christian fullness. Consider this mission as one of your most urgent responsibilities at the present time” (Humanae Vitae [17]).

• Canon Law requires pastors and faith communities to provide assistance to all married people so that “the matrimonial state is preserved in a Christian spirit and advances in perfection” (1 - c. 1063). Canon 1128 (1) specifically requires pastoral care for ecumenical marriages, while Canon 1129 (1) deals with pastoral care of interreligious marriages.

• Foundations -- A bi-monthly newsletter for newly married couples (www.foundationsnewsletter.com )

• First Years and Forever -- A monthly e-newsletter ([email protected])

• To Seal and Strengthen Love: A Resource Manual for Ministry with Newly Married Couples published by National Association of Catholic Family Life Ministers, www.nacflm.org

7. References

1. 1983 Code of Canon Law, New English Translation, Canon Law Society of America, Washington DC, 1998.

2. Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2nd Edition, 1994.

3. An Analysis of Diocesan Marriage Preparation Policies, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2004.

4. Archdiocese of New Orleans, Archdiocesan Policy Manual, Section 13 -- Policies for Marriage Preparation for the Archdiocese of New Orleans, (undated -- website).

5. Catholic Diocese of Jackson (Mississippi), Marriage Preparation Policy, (undated – website).

6. Pope John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio (On the Family), November 1981.

7. For Better and Forever; A Resource for Couples Preparing for Christian Marriage, Roman Catholic Edition, Revised Edition 3.2d, Ruhnke, Robert A. C.SS.R., May 2012.

8. Together for Life, Sixth Edition, Champlin, Joseph M., Jarret, Peter

9. The Order of Celebrating Matrimony, The Roman Ritual, English Translation, 2nd Edition, 2016.

10. Pope Paul VI, Encyclical, Matrimonia Mixta (On Mixed Marriages), October 1970.

11. Second Vatican Council, Unitatis Redintegratio (Decree on Ecumenism), November 1964.

12. Four Stages of Faith; Will Our Children Have Faith?, John

13. Faithful to Each Other Forever; A Catholic Handbook for Pastoral Help for Marriage Preparation, taken from Family Planning:

14. Pastoral Statement of US Catholic Bishops on Persons with Disabilities, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 1978.

15. Guidelines for the Celebration of the Sacraments with Persons with Disabilities, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Revised June 15, 2017.

16. Getting it Right; Marriage Preparation in the Catholic Church, Center for Marriage and Family, Creighton University, November 1995.

17. Pope Paul VI, Encyclical Humanae Vitae (On the Regulation of Birth), July 1968.

8. References to Articles of Canon Law

CAN. 1077

CAN. 1084

CAN. 1118